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British Stag and Hen Parties: Behave!!

The Zeedijk Shopkeepers’ Association have had enough of racuous groups of young British men and woman who invade Amsterdam on a daily basis.

“They vomit and pee all over the Zeedijk” observed association Officer of Social Norms, Diana van Laar, “It is not normal behaviour”.

Diana is particularly unhappy that British Stag and Hen parties are lowering the tone of Amsterdam’s Red Light District, one of the world’s most famous centers of prostitution and soft drugs. Her association are lobbying for the police to adopt a tougher approach to drunken Brits.

“If you are drunk”, suggests Diana, “sober up in a cell and then we don’t have to put up with you”. This may also provide the Amsterdam City Council with an opportunity to charge the tourist an additional hotel tax for the use of the cell.

Other local business people make the fairly valid point that, actually, most of their money comes from British tourists.

“This has always been part of this area, there are just a few locals who constantly complain” explained sex club owner Cor van Dijk, while masturbating furiously.

The atagonism towards British tourists may be part of a backlash sparked by Boris Johnson, mayor of London and reliably entertaining tit, who has described Amsterdam as sleazy, provoking an invitation, from Amsterdam’s mayor, Eberhard van der Laan, for Boris to visit and witness, for himself, thousands?of British tourists stumbling around the city, dressed as rabbits and nuns, while singing “You’ll never walk alone”.

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