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Schiphol Airport is Watching YOU

Bad news for paranoid marijuana tourists, returning home via Schiphol Airport after an intense weekend of strong weed and too many space cakes: the airport police are testing out a new, highly-intelligent camera system which alerts them to travellers behaving in an unusual manner.

Examples of aberrant behaviour, which could result in you being detained and strip-searched, include spending too long in the toilet, moving your arms or running to catch your plane.

Future enhancements will include heat sensitive cameras which can tell if an individual traveller’s nose is cold, apparently a sign of nervousness and, I suppose, the nose is one part of a terrorist’s face that is not kept warm by a lovely thick growth of beard.

So, the next time you get the feeling of being watched as you make your way through Schiphol Airport, it isn’t just the remnants of THC come-down, you are being watched – try not to move your arms too much.

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